Daily Thoughts – Page 4

The Ability To Judge Less And Love More

It’s interesting to think that no one really knows what we’re like. Only a very few that are close to us will see us through our ups and downs, but no one can live the journey of another. I had a conversation with a friend recently about how people will view you the way they see you. They will create a perception and an idea of you, but not many people will truly know you. It sort of makes me think of famous people, and how incredibly judgmental people are towards them, without knowing them at all. I’m guilty of doing it too, and felt the need to write about it, because when we judge it repeats the cycle of talking about things we don’t know as if we do know.

On a conversation with a new friend about forgiveness, we talked about how when we don’t forgive others and hold a bad feeling against them, it’s not so much hurting them, but hurting ourselves. If we let go and learn to forgive it will free us. There is difficulty in this in times where we feel something is very important to us or we don’t understand why people do things a certain way. There are many things we truly only see the surface of, and only in the times where we have peace, love and acceptance, do we catch a glimpse of seeing one another as we are. Most strangers that are unkind to others are often letting out how they are feeling within.

Everyone has different opinions and thoughts. The thing is we seem to be more hard on ourselves more often than we are on others. At least I know this for myself. At the same time, I notice there are many people who focus on the bad things about other people, but don’t focus on self improving and changing themselves. When we fear judgment, it restricts us from doing the things we want, being the true person we are and embracing life completely.

Nobody is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, goes through tough times and experiences life in a different way. Remember to raise yourself up, because the more you love yourself and be kinder to yourself and know that you deserve all the happiness and joy, then you will do the same to those around you. The moment we feel down is when we put our focus on things that drain our energy. It’s difficult to not judge when we feel something is unfair, but the thing to also remember and remind ourselves is how we often only see the surface of the water. The ability to judge less and love more is the homework we should strive to do each day.

Photography by Helena Moore

September 18, 2017

Daily Thoughts, forgive, judgment, Love
The Misconceptions People Have About Pigs

I grew up in the country side where we had many pets growing up. The day I met Hercules, he was a wee little black and white Kune Kune piglet. Sadly, he was the last piglet left because nobody wanted him. As soon as I saw him, I thought he was perfect. Every time he was happy, his tail would wiggle a little, and he loved getting his belly scratched. Every time he saw me, he would run right over and oink. I remember spending hours just sitting beside him watching him eat and fall asleep. We later got Shyla who I named because she was a very shy sweetheart.

They are incredibly intelligent animals. I feel really strong about expressing this, because in society, books and the media, pigs are called stupid, filthy and disgusting and that breaks my heart because they are incredibly intelligent creatures. The word pig is often used as an insult in many languages. Pigs are one of the smartest animals in the world, and some say even more than cats and dogs. They have excellent memories, high sense of smell and are able to learn quite quickly. They’re often used to sniff for truffles because of their wonderful sense of smell.

Pigs are affectionate and loving. If a pig is treated poorly or is protecting and defending itself or its babies, it will stand up for itself. However, similarly to raising a puppy, if you raise your piglet well then you bring out more of their sweet personality. They absolutely love getting belly scratched and sometimes if you sing them to sleep, they’ll oink slowly until they fall asleep. I remember when Hercules sensed me standing up to leave, he’d open his eyes. If you’ve ever held a piglet in your arms, you know that warm feeling. Pigs are very loving!

Pigs are often seen as fat, ugly and overweight. There are pigs that are far too overweight because their owner has fed them too much. In many cases pigs are fattened up because they are going to be killed for their meat. There’s that mindset that the fatter the pig is the better the meat will be. I feel that the fatter the pig is, the crueler it is that it’s being forced to become obese. Pigs are not supposed to be overweight, just as much as your pet dog or cat should not be overweight. A healthy pig is naturally lean. I think they are beautiful animals, even though not everyone feels the same way. They may not have the elegance of a cat, but they are very humble animals.

Pigs are very clean and hygienic. Pigs are often seen as dirty, most often because of the environment humans put them in. Imagine all those terrible factories that enclose pigs in tight spaces with their own faeces. Pigs are one of the cleanest animals I know. My old pet pigs would never make their sleeping or eating area dirty. They do love to roll in mud, because they are protecting themselves from the sun and also because it cools them down. The layer of mud can act like a sunscreen or an insect repellent from bugs. Pigs don’t have functional sweat glands and are at risk of overheating. The photo from here depicts the amount of times Hercules has tried to lie in the water bucket or tipped it over to make a mud puddle.

Pigs are not smelly unless they’re in a bad environment. It saddens me that there’s a lot of negativity towards our fellow pigs. Pigs are thought of as smelly, because in many places they are kept in the same place that they sleep, eat and poo. It’s incredibly unhygienic and cruel. As I mentioned before they are very clean. However, if we put them in a bad environment, then they will be smelly. Their natural smell is quite subtle with perhaps some hay scent. It’s also the owners responsibility to keep the bedding area clean and change the hay, because the pig does prefer a clean environment. From a piglet, they are taught by their mothers where they should eat and what area is the toilet.

Some Pigs are actually very picky eaters. Hercules would often eat the bread and apples first, and then leave the lettuce and carrots last. Pigs absolutely love fruits. Perhaps they have a sweet tooth. There’s a misconception that pigs are greedy and will eat anything and just love food in general. There are some that do have a bigger appetite than others, but I don’t think pigs are greedy. This is another huge misconception placed onto pigs. A pig eats as much as it does to feel full, but they do teach us the art of enjoying our food.

Pigs have feelings and are sensitive animals. I know this isn’t a nice imagery to place in your head, but imagine a pig screeching because it knows it’s about to get slaughtered. If you’ve ever watched a video and heard the sound of a pig knowing it’s going to be killed, you know that they are intelligent and emotional, and they feel that fear. This is the same as when they’re happy and upset. They’ll wag their tail into a tight curl and oink noisily, and if they’re sad, you can almost feel it and see it in their eyes. Next time you see a pig, remember that they’re not dirty and smelly, but that they’re beautiful, intelligent and wonderful creatures.

August 18, 2017

Daily Thoughts, pigs
Don’t Let Fear Stop You From Your Dreams

This is one of the most important reminders in life that we need. Getting outside of your comfort zone is important, because for a very long time I allowed my anxiety to take over my daily life. Most fear is built up in our imagination. Once we conquer our fear, it never is as scary as you thought it would be. Playing it safe can limit us. Sometimes taking risks, challenging ourselves and breaking our safety barrier can make us stronger and wiser. Fear of Failure stops us from taking the first step. When we fear failure, we have already set ourselves up for failure in our mind. It means that we don’t give ourselves the chance to try.

Many goals and successes that someone reaches, has conquered many failures. I remember watching the ballet, The Nutcracker. The ballerinas make every move look graceful and effortless, yet it took a lot of hard work, time, energy and passion. Through all of that, they have faced their own failures. It took moments where there may have been many bad practice days or rejections from auditions, but there they were on the stage now, because they had a dream and worked hard for it. Fear tells us to not try and it tells us we’re not worth it. It stops us from enjoying life and being happy in the moment.

In order to achieve our goals, we must start with the first step. Our mind is so powerful because every thought we feed it affects the actions we’ll take. If we tell ourselves we can, then we’ll make that action to do it, and that’s when we set the path in the direction we build for ourselves. Everyone is on a different journey, and we all want to achieve different things in our life. Life is unpredictable, but having dreams is what makes it worthwhile. I saw the quote the other day, that we aren’t here to pay the bills and die. It’s absolutely true!

Life has far more meaning, and dreams are within all of us. We often want to wait for the right moment when we feel ready, but often that moment won’t really come. Most things in life start when we take the first step, just the way we learn to take the first step as a baby. We might have fallen over, but we have to keep trying until we learn to walk, and now it’s something we don’t even think about, we just do. In that moment we might have been hesitant, but when you pass that feeling of your comfort zone, there is so much you realise you have the ability to achieve. It all starts with taking the first step.

Art by Naomi Wilkinson

July 16, 2017

comfort, comfort zone, Daily Thoughts, Dreams, fear
The Lost Art Of Staring Into Space

As I walk into a space, there is often people with their heads down on their phone or laptop. It makes me think about how we don’t see daydreamers as often as we used to, and if you catch sight of one, perhaps you might make eye contact for a fleeting second. Our eyes show what we focus on or perhaps we might be gazing into the distance absorbing our surroundings. The lost art of staring into space, also suggests the quiet moments where we pause for a moment. The kind of pause that needs no interruption or interaction with our technological devices.

There’s time to take a deep breath, stare into nature and listen to the birds outside. We are all plugged online at some point of the day (hence I’m writing online this moment). However, these thoughts wonder into my mind about how this has become normalised. Whenever I visit Taiwan each year, it’s normal for the whole row on a train to be on their mobile devices and in Sydney, I often nearly walked into someone while they text their friend. But, somehow, it just doesn’t seem like it should be normal.

I say this mostly because I rarely use my phone when I’m out and about, or at least I try not to too much. The truth is we don’t need to use our phone most of the time, but it has become a habit or a ritual of some kind, that seems natural and we might not think twice about it. Space makes me think of back on the farm when I was younger, I could crouch down and stare at little ants walking past, watch my pigs eat or lie on the grass staring at the clouds moving across the blue sky and time seemed to pass by. The art of staring into space is also the art of simply doing nothing.

We are a culture that praises busyness because it ties in with the idea of productivity which also suggests motivation. Busyness is always trending, as a memory seemed to pop in my head of how many times we may have said we’re doing nothing, but people seem to need to feel sympathetic when there’s no need. It’s nice to do nothing. Back in high school, when I was bored I would always daydream, but nowadays when someone is bored they may whip out their phone or listen to music on the streets. Comfort in being alone is important, as it means we are able to disconnect from the world.

I found when we were younger, there was a sense of creativity that we build in our moments of space. If we didn’t know what to do, we’d find something to do or imagine what, where and who we might be. The curiosity of noticing the things around us invites excitement and experiences into our lives. They make us more aware individuals and more engaged in the present. There is so much beauty in quiet moments, that we forget it if we surround ourselves with a noisy environment. Take those moments where you look around, people watch and feel the world around you.

Space gives us the ability to develop creativity, awaken curiosity and allow critical reflection and thoughts to wander. The lost art of staring into space reminds us to see the world offline, without our screens in front of us. It allows us to see the reality around us through the lens of our own eye. It reminds us that we don’t always need to be switched on and that we need time to be in a quiet and peaceful state of mind. A wonderful article here, talks about the ability to switch off and the true joy in leisure.

The last few paragraphs from the article: We’re either working, or preparing and commuting to work, or recharging our batteries for another round of work. Otherwise, we’re just flopping out in front of a screen. And many of the activities that we deem as leisure are in fact just another version of toil, argues Skidelsky. Jogging to lose weight, hosting parties in order to ‘network’, learning yoga to be an instructor, these activities are undertaken instrumentally with a specific goal in mind. Leisure, on the other hand, is done for no other sake than for the sheer joy of immersion.

image via

June 8, 2017

Daily Thoughts, lost, space
What Did We Do When There Was No Internet?

When I think back to my childhood, I’m grateful for a time when technology hadn’t been as nearly prevalent in our lives. We weren’t surrounded by a screen for a significant amount of the day, and we cherished the moments of going to the cinema to watch a film or played outside in the grass. Children didn’t have any phones in their hands, and there were more eye contact and in-person interaction. We’d hop on over to the neighbour’s house, bounce on the trampolines to play and walk to the beach together. If the internet disappeared tomorrow, what would happen?

There were always shelves of books at home, and almost every weekend we would stop at the local library to borrow books. If I wasn’t practising my flute or piano, playing with the animals or walking around the farm, I’d be reading a book, drawing a picture or playing with my toys. The difference now is that children grow up playing games on a screen, interacting with one another through online and are growing up learning through technology. I felt that we still experienced that feeling in a classroom with only a pen and paper, writing our essays by hand.

Til this day, even at university, I prefer writing with a pen to paper. There are certain things that are still preferred without the internet, such as reading a book or a magazine. There’s nothing quite like having the physical element of a book and being able to flip through each page. Before technology became what it is, life seemed far more innocent and thinking back, we spent a lot of time outdoors running around, and more time talking to strangers. The lack of technology meant there was no form of escapism, and so everyone would talk to one another.

When there were moments that you wanted to escape, you’d draw or read a book in class. I’m sure children now have just as many hobbies, however, I can’t help feel that back then the lack of screens meant that we spent more time exploring with our imagination, and trying new things. We’d spend time going to drawing classes, going to ballet classes, learning new instruments, learning new languages and spending our time experimenting what we like and don’t like, and finding our own unique ways to entertain ourselves and use our time.

In many ways, it was far more polite back then, because if you think about it, anyone who uses their phone constantly when they’re with other people, are not really present there with them. Creativity meant writing little stories, going outside to explore nature and always craving a sense of learning. It meant researching and getting books out to do your projects. I still remember listening to Beethovens Tape to sleep, and the fact that there is barely anyone who still listens to the tape, even though it was only over 10 years ago.

Simplicity and interactivity would be the two things that I think of, that have changed in a drastic way. The way we interact with people has changed immensely, and the simplicity of life has become noisier with the chaotic nature of the online world. In anything, there requires a balance, as too much excess of anything makes it a negative. This means Social Media, the internet and the online digital world can have their positives, but it’s all a matter of balance. We live in a time where things are changing at a rapid rate.

We live in a time where businesses rely heavily on having the internet, students need the internet in order to do research and individuals have the internet to stay connected to news, entertainment and socialising. Meeting people (whether friends or dating) were done in person, sending an email meant sitting down to write a letter and going to the post office to send it and calling a friend meant sitting on a chair where the phone had a wire on it. There was a sense of greater patience we had because the internet is so greatly convenient and fast. I still remember rather than spending 2 hours online, we’d spend 2 hours playing with the cat or going out to slide down the hills on cardboard boxes.

There was a sense of innocence. There was a sense of still not knowing many things, but now with the internet children can know things from such a young age. Remembering life before the internet was a part of our lives reminds us of how much has changed. It reminds us to stay true to our own core values in a trending world. It meant meeting someone in person, before knowing what they looked like from a photo or their profile. It meant playing games together, rather than sitting in a circle looking down at a screen. I miss those elements of simplicity and not knowing everything, but each period of time is a different stage in history, and this is just one of them.

Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady (1964)

May 27, 2017

Daily Thoughts, internet, technology
You Decide Your Attitude Regardless Of The Situation

This is one of the most important lessons in life. Your attitude determines your choices and how you feel about a situation, and what you want to learn from it. The mind is everything. What you think, you become. We have a choice in what we want to focus on and how to deal with past hurt or tricky situations. Everyone goes through bad times, and it’ll vary in different degrees, which is why no one should ever judge or compare others for what they’ve been through. If your mindset is always on past hurt then the storm in the past will always rain on you.

If someone seems like they have everything, none of that ever matters. It’s really the things we feel inside that determine how we live our lives. We all have a choice how to deal with situations and attitudes. If I feel annoyed, angry or upset at a situation, can’t I turn it around? If someone says something unkind to me or if I had to deal with a difficult client, I have the choice to choose how to react. That’s the power of how we think and what we do. It’s a lesson that lasts a lifetime but helps us grow wiser and learn from experience.

It’s normal to get upset from time to time (no one can possibly be happy all the time!), but those are moments we need to accept and grow from. I heard a story about a person who broke up with their girlfriend after she realised they would be in a long distance. After this incidence, he became despaired and lost his job over the year and didn’t know what to do with his life. This is just a simple example in that we have a choice in moving on and becoming a better person, or reliving the past and becoming more bitter about what’s been and gone.

A good attitude can be contagious, and make those around us feel better. I read an article here The truth is, while you’re busy worrying about what others think of you, they’re busy worrying about what you think of them. And on the other hand, most people are likely thinking about things like what they’re cooking for dinner! Most people are more aware of what’s going on in their own lives, which is a good reason for not giving a fudge about what other people think. Caring what other’s think prevents us from feeling true happiness and freedom.

There are people who seem like they have everything, but perhaps when a disaster strikes, they instantly feel that it’s the end of the world. Whereas maybe those who have been through tough times or worked hard to be where they are and have struggled through many failures face the same situation, they may have a more calm attitude towards the situation. Of course, it’s a general example, because vice versa could be possible, it depends on the individual as well.

It’s important to also detach yourself from other’s problems in their lives. We must also go through our own failures, and decide how we can turn that experience into a positive because everyone will go through failure. We will all face rejection and disappointment, but it’s how we use those moments to make us more persistent and resilient that can make us stronger. Attitude is everything. No matter what situation you face, it’s ultimately your attitude that determines how you’ll feel. Live each day with gratitude, and know that one of biggest superpowers is your ability to choose!

Photography by Mg Frontera

April 29, 2017

attitude, Daily Thoughts, situation
When Do You Feel The Most Like Yourself?

This is such a powerful drawing, the way it expresses so many different messages. When I look at it, it gives me a sense of disguise, pretending to be someone else, changing our appearances, thinking in different ways, seeing things from different minds (and perspectives), the different sides of our personality, feeling disconnected from our mind and our body or being slightly (or a lot) different when we’re with certain people. One of the most important advice that’s always stuck with me is to be yourself.

At the same time, I definitely feel I am someone that hides parts of my personality with certain people, even when I’m being myself. I’m sure most people will be able to relate to this, as we don’t tend to reveal all of ourselves to just anybody. The people I feel most myself with would definitely be my family and very close friends. For example, when I was living at home, I’d sing and dance around the house without a care in the world. I was as silly as I am, or as talkative, quiet and strange as can be. When I interact with people I don’t know well, that part of me is not shown.

The moments I feel completely myself is when I sit alone, write in my diary, go for a long walk, talk with a loved one or read a book. It’s when I stare out the window doing nothing, drink quietly at a cafe, cook a meal, stare at flowers, be my silly self, sitting in the library, spy on a little sparrow, laugh with friends or have a meaningful conversation with someone. Feeling myself is when I simply talk the way I do, walk the way I walk, laugh however quiet or loud, see the world around me and remember all the things I’m grateful for. It’s moments when I speak my mind, stand up for myself and stay true to my values.

Perhaps you might feel the most yourself when you do something you love. It might be playing an instrument, playing a sport, being creative through drawing, dancing or sewing, teaching or watching a movie. It might be when you’re wearing something that you feel reflects who you are, or when you listen to a song. When I feel the most myself is when I feel comfortable, peaceful and confident. It’s when I am completely at ease and happy with who I am. It’s that feeling of not giving a fudge brownie about what anyone thinks.

We might feel most ourselves when listening to the sound of the waves going in and out, breathing in the morning fresh crisp air and walking in the rain with the sound of tapping against the umbrella. It’s natural to some extent to feel more yourself with certain people, but it’s unnatural to pretend, act another character or conform in order to fit in. There are certain people that bring out our silly, talkative, weird, strange, caring, random, quiet, loud, wise, funny and creative sides. So tell me, when do you feel the most yourself?

Art by Helena Perez Garcia

April 19, 2017

Daily Thoughts, personality
How To Improve Your Chinese Language Skills

Chinese is one of the most beautiful languages in the world. When you see the words themselves, each of them are like a picture. It is the most spoken language in the world by more than 1 billion people. I remember my Grandmother explaining to my sister and I the way each Chinese character are like a picture of the object. 火 means fire, 人 means person and 山 means mountain. If you look at them, they appear very much like the character itself. According to the NZ Chinese Language Week Trust, Chinese will be the third most common language spoken in New Zealand.

In order to improve a language, we must consistently speak it and expose ourselves to it. If you don’t speak the language with your family, it’s a good idea to find opportunities to speak it with someone. Try speaking it with a friend, language partner, on the phone or attending a Chinese event. The more you speak, the more you remember. A great app to add on your phone is Pleco. It’s a wonderful dictionary that’s easy to use. Try reading a small section of a book, text or magazine article and translate the words you don’t know by using Pleco (or your own dictionary).

Writing words down can also help you to remember what they look like. Learning and expanding your vocabulary is ultimately one of the ways to improve your skills. Listening is what we’re first exposed to when we’re a baby. We listen to the way our parents talk, and we imitate the words they speak. You can listen to Chinese music, watch a movie that speaks Mandarin, listen to a podcast or watch a Youtuber who speaks Chinese. Finding what works for you is important. Some may find certain Chinese language apps better than others. Some may work better by following a text book, taking lessons in class, having a private tutor or using an e-book.

Growing confidence in your skills is a wonderful thing. Improving is extremely rewarding. As something beneficial as Chinese, it can be encouraging to know that you will definitely be applying the language in many places. It’s a language that has a long history behind it. It is one of the oldest written language in the world. If you grew up reading Chinese Cinderella by Adeline Yen Mah (I highly recommend the book!), she mentions: Chinese is a pictorial language, not a phonetic one. Our words come from images. The meaning of many characters is subtle and profound. Other words are poetic and even philosophical.

Photography of Ling BingBing by Sun Jun

April 6, 2017

chinese, Daily Thoughts, improve, language
What Do We Leave To The Imagination?

A beautiful quote from Rei Kawakubo “For something to be beautiful, it doesn’t have to be pretty”. The words are golden because we all have our own perception of what is beautiful, yet somehow when I reflect on what we leave to the imagination as a society, the answer is not much. When we think of it as individuals, we have the ability of how much we reveal of ourselves. To leave something to the imagination means to not show or describe all of the parts or details of something. Have you ever read a book, then watched the movie and felt as if the book were better? It’s common in these cases, because our imaginations can create a world that seems even more alive and vibrant in our own mind.

Leaving something to the imagination, is not also in relation to what we wear, but in every aspect of our lives. There are often things that are better to be unsaid, happy memories that don’t need to be captured or enjoyable experiences that can be kept to ourselves. However, I strongly believe there is an importance in modesty, in who we are, what we value and how we present ourselves. In an article here by Gabriella, she says “Somehow, somewhere, sexy became equated with showing everything. Ladies know that sexy means leaving a little something to the imagination. Don’t get me wrong, a tiny dress has its time and place. It’s how you mix it up that makes the difference.”

This was an important quote to touch on, because there’s nothing wrong with wearing a short dress, but it’s how we present ourselves that makes the difference. In a sense it shows how much we have self respect for ourself. An article at Elite Daily, talks about why we should all start leaving a little more to the imagination. I find this such an important topic, in a generation where we are known for over sharing, capturing images and having an excess amount of information with easy access to. Privacy is now a value, because so much of it doesn’t exist the way it used to, when everything is online.

There are many things that are kept to ourselves, whether that’s our thoughts, goals, dreams and achievements, because they give us a sense of quiet, peace and focus in our own lives. As much as it’s great to share with others, sometimes certain things are better left to the imagination. It creates a sense of excitement, mystery and makes life much more interesting! As it mentions in the article: “Not everyone needs to know all our intimate thoughts, desires, wants and wishes. (They don’t even need to know our mundane day-to-days.) … Just because other people may be open books, doesn’t mean we need to bend our covers, too, and lay every single line bare… If we tell everyone everything, there is nothing left to discover.”

Quiet is often a value that’s under looked, because it’s not valued the way it should be. It’s often in the silences that we can learn more about someone. It’s often the conversations filled with meaning that give us true satisfaction. When we think of the imagination, it emcompasses everything. Not only the visual, but the ideas and thoughts. It’s like the way we judge a book by a cover, but discover what a beautiful book it is. Or the way we slowly get to know someone over time, and they become more attractive or less attractive. As the well known quote by Eleanor Roosevelt says Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

Art by Yelena Bryksenkova

February 24, 2017

Daily Thoughts, imagination
The Common Misconceptions Of Being Soft Spoken

When I think of soft spoken people, I think of Audrey Hepburn, Katie Holmes and Winona Ryder. The thing with the way we speak is that we don’t really hear ourselves. It’s similar in the sense that we don’t hear our own accent. When I speak, I can’t hear how soft or quiet my voice is, because it’s normal for me. However, I’ve found over the years, there are certain misconceptions and stereotypes made about people who are soft spoken.

I was painfully shy when I was a child at school, even though at home I was very talkative and unafraid of being completely myself. As I grew older, I was much more confident, but I always had a softer voice. Having a soft voice doesn’t mean you can’t be direct, confident and self assured. It simply means that we show those qualities in different ways. I’ve listed below some of the misconceptions where some come from my own personal experience.

Soft spoken people are always quiet. I remember answering a question in class, and the teacher told me to shout the answer, because it would be like a normal speaking voice. I naturally have a gentle voice. I know personally I am more of a quiet person, however I have moments where I’m extremely talkative.

They are a sensitive person. Sensitivity is stigmatised and often seen as a negative, however it shouldn’t be that way. Sensitivity is natural. Some soft spoken people (like me) are indeed more sensitive, and some aren’t. It depends entirely on someones own personality.

Easily influenced, bossed around and manipulated. There is a huge misconception that we can’t be assertive. Soft spoken express confidence in different ways, without the need to be loud. Too often loud is equated with power and confidence. I know for myself, I don’t allow anyone to treat me unfairly.

They aren’t able to speak up for themselves. Similar to the previous point, most people are able to stand up for themselves. It doesn’t always mean we have to get angry about it, but we just express it differently. I know that if someone crosses my line, I will be very direct. But I also know, I tend to hold certain things inside that aren’t necessary to express, if they won’t change the situation.

Gullible and easy to believe anything. This stereotype definitely comes from how we just naturally want to be nice and polite. I know that when I was at school, I was definitely gullible in the sense that I was too trusting, and tried to see the good in everyone. Unfortunately not everyone is an honest person.

We are always extremely polite. I can’t count the amount of compliments, when people say “you’re such a nice person”. I still remember when I was very assertive with someone, they got a shock, because of the contrast of me being a soft person. It can be off putting for some people as people expect you to always be polite and nice.

They can’t take on leadership roles. In this point, I want to state that soft spoken people can be an introvert or extrovert. There are many introverts who were soft spoken, who did great things and made great changes. I think of Rosa Parks who was a civil rights activist, stood up in a bus refusing to give her seat up to a white passenger.

Soft spoken people are shy and quiet. I do consider myself more of a quiet and low key person, and I definitely am shy in certain situations, but not all the time. There is a connection that being soft means you must be quiet, shy, socially awkward and a long list of stereotypes. However, everyone is different, some people are and some people aren’t.

We rarely get angry. Over the years, there have been countless times someone says “I really can’t imagine you angry”. The thing is everyone is an emotional being, and we all cry and laugh, however each person expresses their emotions in different ways.

We prefer to listen rather than talk. Being soft spoken doesn’t mean we aren’t interested to chat or be noticed in a conversation. Everyone’s views are usually shared, and I know that many soft spoken people are naturally listeners, but many also love to talk!

Being soft spoken means you’re soft. This is the most natural association, considering the word soft is in soft spoken. Some soft spoken people tend to be more gentle and quiet, there are many soft spoken people who are very outgoing and energetic. Being soft spoken doesn’t deliberately mean you are in a certain category, it simply means that that is the sound of your voice. Your voice is important, but it doesn’t define your personality.

image via

February 20, 2017

Daily Thoughts, Introvert, Misconceptions, nice, quiet, sensitive, soft, soft spoken, voice