highly sensitive person

Finding Strength In Your Softness

Feeling the world deeply around you, having high sensitivity and being a gentle soul is one of your greatest strengths. We need more softness in this world, more grace, compassion, forgiveness, and peace. I’ve recently read the book Highly Sensitive People in an Insensitive World by Ilse Sand. Not all highly sensitive people are softspoken, yet there seems to be a connection between sensitivity and gentleness. While we live in a world that may not always accommodate highly sensitive people, there are ways for one to find strength and freedom in embracing your own softness.

Compassion for the little creatures. I find a lot of people who are soft have a deep love for animals. This is one of the greatest strengths to have, because compassion for other living beings is a sign of deep care and connection to the world. It’s a reminder that we are all connected in this world with all living beings, and we share this planet together. Appreciating and respecting the creatures we share this planet with encourages curiosity and kindness. When we try to put ourselves in their shoes, we to try to understand how they might be feeling.

Embracing your weirdness. For a long time, I believed that being soft or having a gentle voice was a flaw. I thought I would be more accepted if I wasn’t so soft, however, personality isn’t permanent. Sometimes you want to laugh loudly and sometimes you want to spend time alone quietly. We are constantly shifting, changing and no one can be fully defined. Your gut will always tell you the truth, and you can always feel when you’re really staying true to yourself or not. Embrace those parts of you that are a bit weird, and embrace the courage to be disliked.

Finding strength in your inner world. A colourful world runs within. It makes me think of a vast lake, where there is a hidden castle ruin deeply below the waters. The water glistens on the surface, and there is a beautiful world below with fishes swimming around, magnificent buildings and intricate sculptures. We all hold strength within ourselves greater than we know. Quiet strength is rooted in unwavering confidence and hope within oneself, acceptance of the things one cannot change and openness to wisdom and learning.

Long walks in nature. Highly sensitive people can experience sensory overload, emotional overwhelm and fatigue from absorbing others emotions. After walking in nature, I always feel a sense of renewed strength. I can face the day with a deeper sense of gratitude, a stronger connection with myself and others, and a greater sense of presence. Being in nature allows us to reflect, take one step at a time and enjoy the small things like listening to birdsong, the sound of the wind and breathing in the fresh air. It helps us to think freely and walk our worries away.

Finding creative expressions. When I feel low, it can sometimes feel like the ocean is crashing down and I feel it so deeply. When I feel content, it can feel pleasant and like the sun warmly shining inside. During intense periods, having a creative outlet, like dancing, writing, running, painting, playing an instrument or cooking can help pour those emotions somewhere safe. Self expression helps you stay present, reflect, reduce overwhelm, and spark new ideas.

Being mindful of others. When your nervous system is sensitive to internal and external stimuli, you notice those subtle moments where someone’s emotions shift, or how they might receive something. That sensitivity and mindfulness is important in building trust and empathy. Picking up details in one’s body language, eyes, tone and moments of hesitation, can help with determining what might be appropriate to say to the person.

Overcoming difficult periods. Be gentle with your heart. We all must overcome difficult things in life. Approaching those moments with softness, being calm and honest with oneself and building quiet resilience is like building a road gradually brick by brick, rather than trying to pave the path in a day and ending up with potholes. Speaking to yourself with gentleness like you would to a child is deeply healing. While we all need a little bit of tough love from time to time, we also need that gentle voice to guide, reassure and nurture us to be strong and grounded within.

Protect your energy. For those with high sensitivity, it’s easy to become drained in certain situations. I’ve experienced periods of feeling run down from work, constant interactions with negative people, and spending time in overstimulating environments. Learning to say no is incredibly powerful. Directing your energy to things that make you feel a sense of peace, rejuvenation and sparks your creativity is so important. Spending time alone allows you to recharge your batteries, and invest your energy in places that truly matter.

Deep meaningful connections. Surround yourself with calm, positive, supportive and uplifting people. Those who embrace your softness as a strength, and give you the space to be yourself. I was recently chatting with a friend who was sharing with me about the book they read called The Good Life by Robert Waldinger, which discusses one of the longest-running studies on happiness, health, and human well-being. Ultimately, the most important thing we have of all is the relationship we have with one another.

The healing power of music. Music calms the nervous system, releases tension, and expands our inner world. For many HSP, we feel the music resonate in our inner world playing on full volume within our hearts. My lovely piano friend recently shared this beautiful piano music with me. It evoked a lot of emotions within and felt like the music understood something within my soul that words can’t explain. I think many of us relate to this feeling. It’s why we listen to music, because it has a magical power of healing something within us.

Art by Jane Fisher

October 13, 2025

Daily Thoughts, faith, highly sensitive person, HSP, Life, mental health, softness, strength
The Handbook for Highly Sensitive People

Humans are wired to connect and to have authentic conversations. Being sensitive, empathetic and vulnerable are traits that allow us to truly connect with people. A highly sensitive person (HSP) experiences the world through a heightened way through high sensory experiences. This may be through crowded places, strong scents or loud noises. It is said by the clinical psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron that 15-20% of the population are HSPs. HSPs process and feel emotions more deeply than others and they are highly empathic and tend to have rich inner lives. The emotions they may feel are very deep whether that may be positive or negative.

Growing up as a classical musician, I was deeply moved by music during a performance, a painting in an art gallery, reading a book or watching a movie. Taking actions such as surrounding myself in nature, sitting at a library or taking time to pray or meditate would bring peace and calm. Discovering that I am an HSP explained so many factors from my childhood, career and the unexplainable feeling that there was something wrong with me. The act of practicing loving yourself and being gentle with yourself is one of the most kindest and lifechanging things you can do for yourself.

I recently read The Handbook for Highly Sensitive People by Mel Collins, and felt touched by a lot of the ways she describes the experiences that HSP’s have during their lifetime. The book is separated into three sections. The first section expands on the term HSP. This includes the definition of an HSP, the Environmental and sensory triggers and the challenges HSP face. The second section looks at different strategies through processing emotions, practicing self-love and tapping. The third section talks about the spiritual perspective from exploring our past lives and maintaining inner balance.

The book is a great introduction for those who want to have a better understanding of being an HSP. The book reminds you that you are not alone in this journey, as it invites HSPs to recognize their strengths rather than look at themselves as flawed. Collins expands on the top ten challenges faced by HSP’s. These include being empathic sponges, deep emotional sensitivity, a feeling of not belonging, a difficult childhood, self-esteem and self-worth issues, relationship struggles , health issues, difficulty accepting the ‘inner darkness’, parenting parents or other family members and feeling unfulfilled.

Being empathic sponges can be draining due to the HSPs being kind-hearted and highly empathic by nature. When surrounded in a negative environment it can leave them feeling over-stimulated. Collins says that “HSPs often feel a need to withdraw from the outside world to release the energies absorbed and to recharge.” Deep emotional sensitivity is felt through the positive (joy, kindness and love) and negative emotions (guilt, shame, fear, hurt, loss, unworthiness, jealousy, anger and feelings of betrayal). A feeling of not belonging can start from a young age particularly for those who have experienced a difficult childhood.

Self-esteem and self-worth issues may arise due to the HSPs sensitive nature being criticized or judged from a young age, causing shame and embarrassment because of it. Relationship struggles can be common for HSPs such as nurturing friendships, as they are natural givers and good listeners. This can attract the friendship patterns that are one-sided. Health issues can be a problem as HSPs are extremely sensitive to pain. For example, they may experience disorders such as chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia or insomnia.

Difficulty accepting the ‘inner darkness’ is a common trait for many HSPs. HSPs tend to be kind-hearted people who want to be good to others. Collins states that “They often have difficulty accepting what is viewed as the ‘darker’ side of themselves. This can lead to them suppressing what they see as their more negative emotions.” The words Collins adds rings true “whatever you resist persists.” It’s important to find healthy and safe ways to release any suppressed emotions.

HSPs can grow up taking the role of the parent subconsciously. This is common for HSPs whose parents were emotionally unavailable. The final challenge Collins states is feeling unfulfilled. Collins states that “In my experience working with HSPs, many have a strong drive to feel they are making a difference in the world. As a result, many believe that if they don’t feel fulfilled in this way, they are in the wrong career.” Many may find that there is a long period where they may spend searching for what they are ‘supposed’ to be doing. However, she says that “In reality, however, any job has the capacity to reflect an aspect of themselves or meet an inner need […] Every job can be viewed in this way if you make a choice to do so – as a stepping stone towards a more fulfilling purpose.”

For many HSPs it can feel like you are spending a lifetime finding your purpose and understanding the depth and complexities of your emotions. Embracing your inner self and accepting that you feel deep emotions will free you from the chains. The pain was only extended through the deep fear of judgment and rejection for how I was feeling. Taking steps and finding specific ways that help you with your feelings is an important step to healing. I really hope in writing this, that it can help even one HSP know that you are not alone. I spent many years with depression and anxiety. I found methods such as meditating, praying, journaling, walking, being in nature and self-havening incredibly healing in the moments where I’ve felt helpless or overwhelmed.

Your sensitivity is your superpower. The ability to empathise towards others and deeply connect to animals, nature, music and the arts is a gift. The search for meaningful connections means that you give your all or nothing in friendships and relationships. Sensitivity is both a blessing and a challenge, but sensitivity is a strength, not a weakness. We live in a world that tells us that we need to be a certain way, but when we acknowledge the strength of being sensitive, it opens the door to understanding. The characteristics that you may have not seen as worthy are the very aspects that make you beautiful.

“By becoming conscious of what it is in the ‘darkness’ or ‘shadow, you are shining light into the darkness and encouraging it to dissolve.” – Mel Collins

Art by Kate Pugsley

March 1, 2021

book, Books, highly sensitive people, highly sensitive person, HSP, Mel Collins

Finding Strength In Your Softness

The Handbook for Highly Sensitive People