Tien-Jen

What Really Matters In Life

As young adults, we spend much of our time working. Money is a tool we need to survive, live comfortably and perhaps set aside for enjoyment or fleeting materialistic pleasures. But sometimes I wonder, what really matters in life? There are moments where I contemplate how superficial our society can be. Society tells us to value money, career, status, image, and materials, while character, education, culture, compassion and stillness often take a back seat.

Spending time in nature. After a day in the hustle and bustle of the city, the blaring sounds of traffic, the crowds of people, and the lingering smell of smoke, retreating into nature feels like the natural thing to do. Listening to birdsong and the wind blowing wildly through the trees brings an instant sense of peace. The kind of peace people often chase through things that ultimately don’t matter.

Spending time with loved ones. The people who make us laugh, who we can be unfiltered and weird are good for the soul. These close relationships offer a kind of freedom that can’t be replicated. Notice that warm, positive and loving feeling when you spend time with a good friend or family member. In the end, it’s the connection we have with others and ourselves that give life its deepest meaning.

The little joys in life. Listening to a song that makes us feel like dancing, sipping a cup of tea while reading or going for a walk in the sun have the power to shift our whole day. A baby’s laughter, a funny conversation or a moment of people watching can suddenly make everything feel a little brighter and lighter.

Having a healthy body and mind. Without our health, even the simplest things become difficult. Think of the last time you had a flu, and how hard it was to just get out of bed. Our body, mind, and spirit are so precious, and it’s worth remembering how blessed we are when we are well. Health is something we should never take for granted.

Good character and lifelong learning. Nobody is perfect, no matter what it seems. We can never judge a book by its cover just as we never truly know someone’s story from looking at the surface. Striving to build good character and nurturing a curious, active mind through lifelong learning is important for our personal growth and inner fulfillment.

Practicing gratitude and compassion. It’s easy to fall into the trap of complaining, but there’s freedom in practicing gratitude. When we focus on what we have rather than what we lack, we begin to notice the abundance already present in our lives. Gratitude opens the door to compassion for ourselves and for others.

Inner peace. We often try to present ourselves as normal, even when life feels turbulent beneath the surface. But true peace comes when our inner world is calm — like the ocean after a storm. When we cultivate that stillness within, we’re better able to face whatever’s happening around us.

The things that bring true joy are often simple: spending time with loved ones, feeling completely at peace, being fully present, and enjoying the little things. Nothing in this world is permanent. So remember what truly matters, what sparks something in your heart and embrace those quiet, fleeting moments. We’re all just here for the ride.

Art by Liekeland
A Love Letter To Wellington

When the plane starts shaking in the windy skies you know you’ve arrived in Wellington. As you peek outside the window, the vast ocean meets the harbour and there are numerous tiny houses dotted on the hills. It feels like you’re looking at a small town rather than the capital city of New Zealand. When you step outside the air meets you with a cold refreshing hug. Behind you is a mountain, you turn a corner on to the quiet street, you pass some funky houses with circular windows and the big moon sits brightly in the sky.

It’s an incredibly compact and pedestrian friendly city where you can walk around easily. The wonderful thing is not having to drive. It’s easy to get around as you can take the bus to the next suburb or into town and the airport is close by. The pace of life is much slower and relaxed and people walk more slowly. There’s no need to rush unless you’re late for an appointment. Somehow when the sky is blue and the sun is out all of Wellington comes out. It’s a place close to the ocean, parks and mountains.

As the windiest city in the world, you learn to tie up your hair and avoid wearing skirts most of the time. Many households will have a blunt umbrella and a sturdy wind and rain proof jacket to brave the elements. The weather is one of the things you learn to (sort of) get used to over time. In the beginning it can be difficult and you feel as if the wind is going straight through your bones. You can feel the house shaking on the windiest days yet there’s a particularly comforting feeling of being indoors on a rainy and windy day in Wellington.

In the morning, the birds are singing outside on the roof and trees. One of the best sounds is listening to the Tui sing in the morning. They have such a beautiful song. During spring the flowers appear and you can see all the beautiful colours in the neighbourhood. You can smell the roses and see the sunflowers saying hello to the sun. When it’s not a grey, overcast, rainy and windy day there are days of blue skies and everything seems to come alive.

Cars are generally friendly and polite particularly when I think about how in some countries pedestrians have no right of way and you have to make sure you stay alive and not get hit by a car. The neighbourhood cats are sweet and some are quite talkative. They will lie on their back showing off their stomach waiting for you to give them a cuddle. Don’t always fall for it though because their claws might come out!

You can enjoy the little things in life like sitting at a cafe reading, listening to music, going for long walks and people watching. Listening to buskers playing music in the distance or watching tourists amusingly stare at the tree man playing the saxophone. Sitting at the waterfront, enjoying a delicious ice cream while avoiding eye contact with the seagulls. You watch the ocean and the world around you.

Art by Kirsten Sims
The Joy Of Being At Home

The grey clouds blanketed the sky and I could feel the rain dripping on my head and the immense relief of arriving home. A flash of lightening filled the room and the thunder roared loudly outside. There’s a sense of security and comfort being at home. Home can mean so many different things to different people. There’s our physical home where we have shelter and warmth, the home within us where no matter where we are we feel a sense of peace and there’s the feeling of home that we might find in another person or place.

Physical home. Have you ever travelled somewhere and come back home and feel at ease with all the familiarity? There’s this warm feeling of being back home. Home is where you can put your legs up on the couch, have a cup of tea, watch a movie and be your complete self. It’s the space where you can relax, enjoy your hobbies, take a warm shower, sleep and rest, cook a delicious meal, sing and dance, watch the world go by outside and enjoy the small, simple moments.

Home within. No matter where you may be in the world, home is the inner peace within. It’s the feeling of being present within your body and soul, the feeling of being safe and connected and the feeling of being comfortable in your own skin. Feeling home within is living aligned to your values, being your true self in the world and seeing the hope, love and light within yourself and other people.

Feeling at home. We can feel home within another person or in a certain place. Home can be found in someone we love dearly or it can be found somewhere that holds a special place in our heart. Home can also be found in a song, a book, a smell or a meal we grew up eating. For example, in the film Ratatouille, Anton Ego eats a Ratatouille dish and has a flashback to his childhood of when he fell over on his bike. His mother made him a delicious Ratatouille dish to comfort him.

What does home mean to you?

Art by Yelena Bryksenkova
Improving Your Mother Tongue
It’s common for those who grew up in a different country to their parents to lose some or all of their mother tongue. It’s natural to want to speak the language that is largely spoken in your environment as it helps you communicate with the people you interact with. This is one of the struggles of maintaining your mother tongue when you grow up in an environment where you largely use one language in your daily settings.

Language allows us to connect with other people and have a deeper understanding of our culture. It allows us to tell stories, understand different perspectives and express what’s within. My parents were the only people I spoke Mandarin regularly with when I lived at home. The lack of learning the language and improving my grammar meant my Chinese level was like a primary school student. This was most clear once I left home and so the desire to improve began.

Surround yourself with the language. If you’re working, you can listen to podcasts and music in the background. At home, you can watch videos, TV shows and movies in the language. You can try to even think in the language. This can be tricky but it can force you to be more active in using the language.

Write down words that you don’t know. Learn new grammar by writing down words that you don’t know and practice them in your daily life. This can be a word from an article or video. You can practice using them during a conversation as it will help solidify them in your memory.

Read articles and books in the language. Find content you’re interested in yet is a little bit challenging to read. There’s so much content online with specific topics that you can read according to your personal interests. Reading allows you to slow down and helps you recognize more words.

Engage, use and speak the language. This is one of the most important tips. If you don’t use it, you lose it! Take any opportunity that you can to use the language. I’m still encouraging myself to do this as a big part of improving a language is having confidence. If you’re watching a video you can copy the native speaker and mimic their pronunciation and accent.
It’s important to remember that improvements take time and daily practice. I’ve found using a language app can help with speaking to other language learners. Practicing with cue cards on apps like Pleco can also help. Learning and improving a language is much like learning an instrument or practicing sports. It takes commitment, focus and daily practice. Remember, practicing a little a day can go a long way.

Art by Kate Pugsley
The Cat Who Saved Books

Ritaro is the shy young protagonist in the book who rarely goes to school or socialises. He recently loses his grandfather and inherits his old bookstore and is met with overwhelming grief. Shortly after, a talking cat called Tiger appears and Ritaro enters four labyrinths where he discovers the ways books have been mistreated. Throughout the book, the wisdom that his grandfather has imparted onto him gives him courage to speak what’s in his heart. ‘Books have tremendous power. But take care. It’s the book that holds the power, not you.’

The adventures he goes on allows him to become more himself while working through grief and making new friends. He convinces those mistreating the books to stop by reminding them the true meaning of books. Near the end of the book, he says ‘Books teach us how to care about others.’ He begins to foster more empathy and compassion and begins to open up more. It’s a book filled with adventure, friendship, hope, courage and wisdom.

Here is a Chinese idiom I recently learned 學無止境 Xué wú zhǐjìng. It means there is no end to learning. There’s always something new to learn and knowledge is boundless. The book by Sōsuke Natsukawa really expresses this sentiment. Books remind us that we are always never-ending learning and there is always something new to discover, understand, improve and learn.

‘Books are filled with human thoughts and feelings. People suffering, people who are sad or happy, laughing with joy. By reading their words and their stories, by experiencing them together, we learn about the hearts and minds of others people besides ourselves. Thanks to books, it’s possible to learn not only about the people around us everyday, but people living in totally different worlds.’

Art by Liekeland
Clothing Thoughts

I was recently watching a video which made me think about how important it is to dress well. What we wear reveals how we feel about ourselves and how we’d like to present ourselves to the world. The video made me reflect on the popularity of dressing casually, the rise in clothing consumption and the obsession with trends. The message that we always need more clothing causes dissatisfaction and a desire to shop more. A timeless wardrobe helps us develop a strong sense of personal style and whether we may admit it or not fashion is important.

Dressing well is a form of self care. Taking time to groom ourselves and dress well is a form of self care, as it shows respect to the people you’re interacting with and respect for yourself. Do you notice how when you wear something you feel comfortable in you feel lighter and more confident? Feeling good ultimately comes from within, however, it’s undeniable that what we wear can impact on how we feel about ourselves.

Shop less and wear more. There is an impulse to buy more in a consumerist society that tells us to keep up with ever-changing trends. There’s a blessing in shopping less and wearing more because you can then truly develop your personal style. You can also save time in deciding what to wear, save money on buying numerous clothing and have a deeper understanding of what suits you.

Environment and pollution. Clothing is one of the largest polluters in the world and fashion production makes up 10% of humanity’s carbon emissions. It’s inconceivable and shocking to think of the amount of clothing that is discarded every second of the day yet it’s the harsh reality in our society. We live in a superficial society that aims to influence us to spend more money and live a certain kind of lifestyle yet we should praise repeating outfits and cherishing quality clothing.

Clothing should be designed to be worn year after year. There seems to be this idea of staying fresh and new in fashion and regularly wearing something different. Somehow this idea through the digital age was accentuated that being seen in the same outfit isn’t acceptable. However, have you noticed how trends will often circle back in another decade? Quality clothing that we enjoy wearing year after year is what clothing is ultimately meant for. Sadly, a lot of clothing now is poorly made and designed to be worn and quickly discarded.

What do we leave to the imagination? Nowadays, it seems common to see people wear clothing that shows more and more skin. Clothing designs have all kinds of cuts and strips and transparency. Some are done in a stylish manner and others unfortunately look unattractive and attention-seeking. Fashion is a form of self respect. There’s nothing wrong with wearing a short dress, but it’s how we present ourselves that makes the difference.

Developing a sense of personal style. When I was a teenager, I remember buying whatever was trending. From crop tops, leather skirts to playsuits and leopard pants. It felt like I was playing pretend as I didn’t feel truly myself in those clothes. These were clothes that would end up being worn once or twice and then remain untouched and donated at the end of the year as they weren’t true to my style. Do you notice how you can really see when someone is completely comfortable and confident in what they’re wearing and vice versa? Remember that your personal style will always be timeless.

Art by Renee Gouin
Living A Slow-Paced Life

There have been many moments where rushing feels like progress but the result ends up being less than satisfactory. Slowing down is when things are able to come into fruition in a natural way. Think of a small seed in the soil that weathers through the stormy nights and sunny days. It slowly grows and grows until one day it becomes a strong and sturdy tree.

When we slow down we have space to think. We have space to notice our breath and space to just be. The quiet moments allow us to reflect and understand ourselves better. Slowing down gives us a moment to day dream and let our imagination run wild. The story of the tortoise and the hare is a reminder of the wisdom in having patience and persistence.

The greatest joys in life come from the little things. Walking down the streets and listening to the sound of the birds chirping in the early hours of the morning. Enjoying the small things like reading at a cafe, feeling the gentle breeze on your face, writing in a journal and taking a warm shower. Take time to be grateful for the small things.

Art by Virginia Frances Sterrett
How Do I Pronounce Your Name?

Growing up in a Western country it may have been a common experience to hear the teacher mispronounce your name. Particularly if it’s a name that’s not so common or a name from a different culture. My Chinese surname was commonly mispronounced but it was not common for people to ask how to pronounce my name. When someone asks “How do I pronounce your name?” it shows a sign of curiosity and respect. They are genuinely interested and conscious of pronouncing your name correctly.

Name discrimination is prevalent in our society. These areas include job applications and applying for a rental property. This shouldn’t be the case but it is sadly the reality. There may be stereotypes and racial prejudices that arise with certain names particularly names that may seem difficult to pronounce. However, a person’s capability in a job or how well they will take care of a property is not determined by their name.

Our names can have special meanings behind them and they can be reflective of our culture, identity and language. Taking the time to learn how to pronounce someone’s name creates connection and openness. It shows respect for different cultures and it acknowledges the person. If you ever interact with someone and you’re unsure how to pronounce their name, don’t be shy to ask them “How do I pronounce your name?”

Photography by Leslie Zhang
I’ve Been Decluttering My Wardrobe

Clothing is one of the largest polluters in the world and much of the clothing worn and unworn end up in landfills. When I think of why we end up buying excess clothing it makes me think of the quote by Dave Ramsey: ‘We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.’ We are told by advertising and media to buy more in order to attain a certain kind of lifestyle or to be perceived a certain way. It’s more valuable to embrace your own personal style and wear clothing that will be worn throughout the years.

Both fast fashion and luxury brands produce clothing that have been made by children or women in poor working environments and are paid a miniscule amount. Those who create these products are barely paid enough whereas the corporations earn hundreds of millions of dollars. We don’t need so much in this world to be content, however, the increasing amount of dissatisfaction is from the false belief that we need more things to feel fulfilled and accepted.

We live in a world of excess production and consumption of materials, where much more care is often put towards appearances and money rather than how we treat others and our environment. In the past year, I’ve began selling and donating things I no longer wear or use. I realised we don’t regularly wear the clothes in our wardrobe. If I left the house on a chilly day I’d put on the same rain coat. Fashion allows us to express our own sense of style. It becomes a part of our identity but it shouldn’t have to cost the earth.

Art by Renée Gouin
The Joy Of Missing Out

The ability to embrace the art of doing nothing allows us to appreciate periods of solitude. Social media has contributed to the rise of consumer culture and social pressures. These pressures can cause stress and a distraction from what is important in our lives. The concept of missing out is often labeled as a negative aspect, and it can often be perceived as antisocial.

There is great beauty in taking quiet moments during the day to just be in your own presence. There is great love in giving yourself permission to take time to rest, reflect and reconnect with yourself. The joy of missing out is taking time to enjoy the quiet moments and to embrace being who you are.

The art of slow. Our lives can be filled with endless things one after the other, or a never-ending to-do list. We live in a society that praises a busy and productive lifestyle by labeling these aspects as the definition of success. But the truth is that we are really only able to experience true satisfaction in life in the moments where we feel a sense of flow. Those moments are appreciated when we aren’t rushing through the world.

Finding balance. We practice moderation through how much we consume. These include food, exercise, or technology. We can focus much more deeply when we take time to switch off, practice being mindful of our actions and become aware of where we are placing our attention and time. The joy of missing out on what is always happening in the world can also be beneficial for one’s mental health. Taking a break from technology can allow oneself to focus on being in the present.

Simplifying one’s life. When we let go of the need to chase excitement or fill our lives with things, we have more time to do all the things that make us truly happy. There is a false belief that we must always buy the latest thing, stay on top of trends or achieve something great to be happy. It’s truly the small and simple things in life that can give us the greatest joy. It can be the smallest things that can trigger a sad or happy memory.

Staying authentic to yourself. The joy of missing out means that we can spend more time doing things we enjoy. The time we spend alone is precious, as those moments are where we face our thoughts, feelings, memories and experiences. We have space to reflect and think about life. We can focus on change and growth and we can spend time in our favourite hobbies. When we stay true to ourselves, we feel the greatest sense of freedom. It takes effort and energy to not be who you truly are.

Deeper connections. We only have so much time and the time we spend with people is the connections we are investing in. By surrounding yourself with people who truly care about you, you nurture a deeper connection. It takes time to really get to know someone, and it takes energy to be there for others. When we miss out on other things, we can spend time with the one’s we love. Relationships are beautiful things. The people we surround ourselves with and spend time with the most have a greater impact on us than we may consciously be aware of.

The path we’re meant to be on. Many things in life are a blessing in disguise. In the moment we might not understand why it happened or we might feel that it was unfair. There are aspects that may be a perception of failure but we are yet to realise that the best is yet to come. Sometimes we think something is a setback when it’s really pushing us forward to where we need to be. The joy of missing out on an opportunity can be the greatest blessing to discovering where you’re meant to be.

Art by Alja Horvat